Gone to a better place

I finally got the call. The call that I wished would come so badly but after it came, I wished would go away. Tucker was hit by a car. He's gone.

The morning after I posted my last blog, a collegue of mine found Tucker on the highway. They said it looked as if he was sleeping. They brought me his collar and called animal control. I have not cried that hard in a very long time. It was one of those unconsolable cries that are painful and blunt.

It's amazing that I knew. I might not have known exactly what was going on, but somehow I knew that something was different. Read the blog. My heart knew. With what hope and faith I still had left in tact, I tired to put on a brave face. But my heart knew. He wasn't going to come home.

So many things are unfair about this situation. Too many to start a list. Too many to matter anymore. The only thing that matters is that I am now sitting at home, alone and Tucker is not here. And he never will be here again. And every once in a while when I starting think about him, I still cry that painful, blunt,unconsolable cry. It still hurts that much.

It will be a long time before I get another dog. Maybe never. Losing him was like losing my child. And the only thing that keeps me from breaking down in tears again, even now, is the hope that it's true - All dogs do go to heaven. Because I know that's where Tuck is right now run as fast as he can from field to field without a care in the world.