Disappointing

I think disappointing someone is far worse than pissing someone off or physically causing them pain. Disappointment means they still love you. They just expected more from you. Ouch! (Hurts...doesn't it?)

Whether it's a boss, a lover, a best friend, disappointing someone, especially if you care about what they think of you, hurts. You might as well have punched mom in the face or started her house on fire. Those things she CAN get over. Disappointment lingers on.

Usually there is build up that leads to the disappointment. It all starts with simple anticipation for something – like a gift or a life event or worse, a behavior. Unfortunately, instead of being wowed. Instead of living up to these predetermined expectations. That anticipation is met with a bitter, unsatisfactory end. Then, disappointment moves in.

The harsh reality is you may never get over the disappointment you felt. And on the other hand, you might never get over being the cause of someones disappointment. It's simply a lesson to learn from. A horrible feeling that you live with and try not repeat.

The good news is that if that person you disappointed truly loves you, they will always love you. All of you, even the stupid disappointing parts. You just have to trust in that unreasonable love and believe it is strong, everlasting and even disappointment proof.

Keep that in mind when you open a really lame Christmas present tomorrow. Unless they were trying to give you crap, it's the thought that counts. Plus, being able to return a disappointment should be able to make most disappointing feelings disappear.

Forget the feeling

I am a forgetful person. I lost my iPod, my keys and my mind all in the same week. The keys were lost completely. My iPod surfaced a month later. I found it behind a table in my office and no, my office is not that big. And my mind? Well, it's status is constantly up for debate. The point is, I forget and loose a lot of things. Including feelings.

Lately, I have made a concerted effort to remember. Feelings in particular.

I got into the show LOST over the last couple of months. In the first episode, Jack (who is oh so yummy) said something along the lines of, "Let the fear in, but only for 5 seconds. Let yourself be afraid. Let yourself feel the fear. Then suck it up and get what you need to get done." In his case it was sew some chicks spin back together.

Intense.

But I think this is applicable to real life. It's good to feel things. If you don't let yourself feel, then what are you really? Not only do humans have the ability to feel things, they also have the ability to share feelings through words, and songs and art... It's what separates man from wild.

Of course, we might consider some feelings better off not felt, like disappointment, but feeling that makes us understand beyond a shadow of a doubt that we never ever want to feel that way again.

Remember to feel and remember what the feeling felt like. It'll make you feel alive.