Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Why we can't just let it be

I was talking to my mom this morning, and she brought up something I haven't thought about in a long, long time. This blog is inspired by her. Thanks, Mom! See you Friday!

Have you ever believed something so much, with all your heart, that to you it seems obvious. The only way. Of course you have. Everyone has. And facing someone who doesn't agree with you is so frustrating. All you want to do is shake them and scream in their face that they are wrong - so horribly wrong.

But for some reason they just don't see it. They can't. They're either in too deep, too stubborn or they simply believe that you are wrong and they are right.

The more you push, the more they dig their heels in. They more you try to reason, the more they hunker down determined to prove you and your silly opinion wrong. All you can think is "How can you be so dumb? Can't you see it's wrong? It's all wrong for you!"

The answer is no. They can't see it.

If it's wrong - if it's really wrong for them - they will figure it out. They will learn and grow and maybe one day they will see it the way you see it. Only then will they believe you and appreciate your wisdom. But the hardest part is letting them realize it on their own. When you back someone into a corner, defenses go up and right or wrong they will defend themselves and their decisions to a fault. Their mission to prove you wrong becomes more important than anything else in the world.

No one wants to be wrong. No one wants to admit they made a mistake.

I imagine (I can only imagine) that this is the hardest thing to do as a parent. Watching your child do something that you don't agree with. You want nothing more than to protect them from the inevitable. You want to give them all the answers. It's hard to step back and let them - knowing full well that it's wrong.

I guess as a parent you grow along with your child. You can't understand these things. You can't prepare yourself for them. All you can do it learn from them. And this thing - it won't last forever. It will pass. Then they will understand that you were right and whatever it was...it was wrong.

But you learn and you grow. And you take what you learn and keep living life.

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