Sometimes my friend

Sometimes you need a friend who doesn't talk. Who just listens and understands. Who doesn't judge or solve. Who just lets you be whatever it is you need to be at that moment.

Sometimes you need a friend who says stop, look, feel. Someone who brings everything back to even. Who doesn't let you be too high or too low. Who reminds you it's ok to just be you because thats who you are.

Sometimes you need a friend who is loud. Who drowns out the noise. Makes you forget the bad. Who helps direct your attention to the world, instead of to your own thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes you need a friend who sees the good no matter how bad. Who finds joy in life regardless of the pain they have personally experienced. Who has a heart of gold and makes you a better person just by being around them.

But through all these times where we need our friends to be these "things" for us, remember that BEING a friend walks hand in hand with NEEDING a friend. It's not a free privilege. But restotution is easy to solve. The price of a friendship is just that, a friendship. A piece of your heart, a moment of your time, a good thought and a smile.

I strive to be as good a friend as my friends have been to me.

The great ker-pow

It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced some form of a great KER-POW, but it's real. Promise.

A great KER-POW is magic. As insane as it may sound, as ridiculous as it may feel, as utterly ungraspable as it may be, the KER-POW is the physical manifestation of something that is truly meant to be. And not in the "this is good enough for right now" way. It happens in the "wake up stupid, because I'm IT" way. And when it happens, it knocks you on your butt.

It's a boom. A connection that's immediate, unexplainable, yet equally undeniable. It's faith and trust without reason. It's knowing there's the same amount of faith and trust radiating back to you. You look forward to tomorrow and next week and next year because (as insane as it sounds) you know that those days will come and be as wonderful as the moment in front of you. Why? I don't know. You just do. If you can find the words to explain it, you haven't truly felt a great KER-POW. It's a feeling of being "without end." It's incomprehensible. And yes, it is crazy.

A great KER-POW produces hidden energy and breathes life into everything around you. It's like being smacked awake or being splashed in the face with ice-cold water. Everything is crisp. Alive. A feeling that makes you feel like exploding.

Overload. Everyday. The good kind.

A great KER-POW doesn't happen often. Why? We’re fearful little creatures motivated by the fear of being alone or making a mistake. It holds people captive and engaged in relationships that aren't good enough. We desperately hold ourselves there. We won't even let ourselves step back long enough to realize what's in front of us isn't a KER-POW. It isn't even a pop. It might even be less potent than a wet sparkler. It's dull - lifeless - suffocating.

Hold out for the great KER-POW. It's worth it.

UPDATE: I've now officially seen it happen to the biggest skeptic. She just got knocked on her butt, and we can't get that goofy grin to go away. Please advise.

A moment of your time

We are a world of jugglers, schedulers and day planners. We jam so much crap into a week, that in the end, we aren't even sure what we did with our week. Before you know it, it's August. The summer is almost gone, and we've spent the last three months moving from event to event to obligation without even thinking about it.

It's scary how fast life can pass even if you swear you're living every minute of it. Even me, in my fleeting 24 years of experience, I look back and wonder what the heck I've been doing all this time. And there's life, just blowing by.

We spend so much time getting ahead and getting by that we don't spend nearly enough time just being... being happy, being sad, being surprised, being frustrated. Sorry sir...no time. I have work and happy hour and dinner and the gym and paying bills and running errands and back home to work some more and sleep...just in time to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

It's hard to believe that it's already March. We've started thinking about Christmas card ideas at work. Didn't we just get done with Christmas? I guess that was 3 months ago. Shit...where does time go? Pretty soon well be seeing Christmas decorations up in the mall. That'll be a sad, sad day. (Granted...it'll probably only be August. I mean seriously, they hardly have 4th of July decorations up before they rip them down to put up the Christmas decorations. Stupid marketers!)

The hardest thing to do is live in the moment, for the moment. But try. Experience the moment as it comes. Remember it. Feel it. Live it. Don't just schedule it and walk through it. It's a moment you can't get back or do over. It's a moment that will never be duplicated. And then, in that same moment, it'll be gone.

On the brain syndrome

It's a reality that everyone faces daily. It's supported and encouraged by all sorts of external factors and powers. It's been measured, weighed and found under no uncertain terms to significantly impact our everyday existence. It is, in fact, on-the-brain syndrome.

Now, you can't tell me that you are perfectly capable of maintaining complete and total focus every second of everyday. There's no way. (That's right...I'm calling you a liar.) Because, there are things that, at one point or another, are more important than, oh...let's say...work. And it is absolutely physically impossible get your mind to think about something else...ANYTHING ELSE.

It can either be the most overwhelming, incredible feeling that leaves you briming with energy and joy, or it can literally turn you into a pile of worthless nothingness. In my experience, it's usually the latter. Because nothing that overpowering can actually improve productivity. Let's be honest. If you're thinking about something THAT much...you aren't capable of doing much else.

Unfortunately, there is no hard or fast solution. You're just stuck, thinking. Not doing anything really. Just thinking. Until, well... you just can't think about it anymore. Or until you've convinced yourself that thinking about has gotten you absolutely nowhere.

Brains should really come with off switches. Maybe then I and everyone else with on-the-brain syndrome can get back to work.

Evolution vs. Extinction: How Advertising Agencies Survive

What I would have written about advertising...

1997. The final days of the golden age of advertising. A time when advertising agencies were at their peak. Confidence in advertising was high, and companies were spending a lot of money to ensure their company/product/service was represented. Advertising agencies focused on ads. Of course they did. They were advertising agencies. It’s what they were expected to do. And they did it well. But like all golden eras, things changed. And times like that faded away.

By traditional definitions, very few advertising agencies still exist. For an advertising agency in 2007, evolution is the key to survival. It’s no longer feasible to simply produce ads. Fourteen-year-old kids sitting at home on their computers can do that. Targeting an audience through mass messaging is not effective. Consumers are smarter and increasingly more bored with traditional communication. Consumers also posses a great deal of power. The Internet has opened the door to immediate AND direct consumer feedback making consumer insight and reaction (good and, more importantly, bad) instantly available.

The agency that uses this readily accessible consumer insight to identify what a consumer WANTS will be successful. THAT is what a client needs to achieve awareness – open consumer dialogue – not mass, directionless communication.

Defensive, reactive advertising is not enough. The more this information is used to better understand your consumer, the more offensive or proactive the message can become. Address the need before a consumer even knows they have it. Integrate your brand into their lives and align with their needs to establish and solidify relevance in their lives. A client’s solution lies in an agency’s ability to do this.

At Schupp Company, we still call ourselves an advertising agency. We’re proud to. It’s our definition of advertising that continuously evolves. Because as we learn more about what each consumer wants, the more we can help our clients better understand what they need to do to keep them.

Driving with the spare on

Last night I had a dream that I had been driving around for weeks with my spare tire on my car. I'm not sure what prompted me to realized this. I guess it eventually went flat and the original tire was put on again much to my disliking. I was pissed for some reason. I didn't want that tire on my car. Werid. It was a dream. What do you expect?

Anyway, it got me thinking (shocker. I know). How many times in life do we save special things for special time? Do we sometimes live life driving around on a spare tire while there's a perfectly good, new tire collecting dust in the truck?

I know that I save things for special occasions. But how many special candles have melted without being burnt or special outfits been ruined by mothballs without being worn? Why do the coffee cups and saucers sit in the cabinet or fine china sit bubble wrapped and stored away waiting for company? What defines special? What are we waiting for?

It's hard to imagine having no tomorrow. It's hard to think that you might not get another chance or have another day to use these specially reserved things. But while you're waiting for an “important enough” occasion to come around, the joy of everyday life passes as well. One hundred small moments might not equal the importance and impact of a single solitary momentous occasion, but even one small moment a day can make that day better.

Because in the end, china is just a plate and holly-shaped leaf candles are just wax. Replaceable. Material. Unimportant. What is important is treating each moment, though small, as a chance to be grateful. As a chance to celebrate.

Standards v. Expectations: The cage match

In this corner, weighing in as the socially acceptable level of satisfaction, enjoyment, expectation and status quo, the most basic of basics, Standards.

And in this corner, tipping the scale at a robust level of higher expectancy, opinion and unwavering measure of personal gratification, never to be compromised, Expectations.

Indeed, the difference between standards and expectations lies solely within who decides what the acceptable level of each is. One is society/group/friend/family driven. The other is all you. But what really is the perception of people who set expectations above the standard?

The thing about expectations is that everyone has their own. Some people have expectations much lower than what the standards are in particular situations, relationships, work environments, etc. than others. They don't mind. They probably don't even know that it's different. Other people have superior expectations that far and away exceed any sort of standard currently on the market. It's just the way they are. They expect more.

The question is...Do we look at those people and think they are selfish? And when it comes to relationships in general, do high standards preclude you from finding true happiness?

I guess my answer is no. It doesn't. The catch is having expectations that are really the root to your happiness. Will achieving whatever you set your expectations to be really going to make you a happier person? Setting unrealistic expectations without the foggiest if they'll actually make you happy is counterproductive. That leads to a whole lot of crabby people with amazingly unattainable and unsubstantiated expectations sitting around wondering why they are always unhappy.

Oh...and another thing. Having expectations that are higher than those around you doesn't make you any more high maintenance. It's just as hard to please someone with low to no expectations, as it is to please those with really high expectations. At least with the "high" people, you know what you're up against. There is a point when you can care too little. And let's be honest, people who don't care at all are annoying.

Ding. Ding. Ding.
THE WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: EXPECTATIONS.
Have them. Live them. Always try to exceed them.

Survival of the fittest

I've often heard my father say (usually after he hears of someone doing something incredibly stupid) that there shouldn't be so many rules in this world. If you're too stupid to figure out that you're not supposed to, oh say, drink immediately from your smoldering cup of McDonald's coffee, you deserve to get burned. NOT sue for a million dollars.

Who are we making this world safer for? People who think it’s ok to set the cruise on their Winnebago and then walk to the back and take a nap. Why are we constantly trying to protect non-bright people from themselves?

Back in the day of cavemen, you either learned to run away from the velociraptor, or you got eaten. Your pick. Choose wisely. Adapt or become an appetizer. I realize that cavemen may or may not have been around while dinosaurs roamed the earth but you understand where I'm going with this.

The moral of the story is that our world doesn't force people to adapt – to become smarter. We dumb things down. We default to the lowest common denominator. We rationalize this move by thinking if we service the lowest man on the totem pole; you hit everyone else on the way. The real result? Lots of bored people and one guy that still barely gets it. Well, bravo. Now what did that accomplish?

The hard part is if we don’t take the dumb people into consideration and take steps to protect ourselves FROM them, they are the ones who get third degree burns on their tongue and sue your company for a billion dollars.

“What? They didn’t tell me the coffee was going to be hot?”

The signs are everywhere. I saw one this morning. It said, "The contents in this cup may be hot."

What stupid people will do for free shit

It is amazing to me how completely out of control some people get when they know something is free. It could be the most worthless crap on the planet, but if it's free, they can't get enough of it. Opening day at the new Busch stadium brought out the scavengers in full force. Now, I'm completely cool with the average souvenir seeker. But SERIOUSLY, some people need to be sedated.

It almost became perilous to my person to be anywhere near the "giveaway section" of the bar we were at. While sitting at a picnic table, we were stepped on, practically tackled and nearly smashed by some old drunk guy who insisted on standing on the bench behind us. (Apparently, the higher you are above everyone else, the better chance you have to swan dive on top of someone and swipe their swag.) Which is exactly what he was doing when he showered us with half his beer. Every time he made a psychotic grab for some other priceless piece of paraphernalia we got a bud lite shower.

One woman, chasing mindlessly after some sort of flag, actually tried to climb UNDERNEATH our picnic table. She literally threw herself at the bench and started clawing madly for it. Easy killer. It's a flag. Not the last life saving serum left on the planet. Obviously, she was serious about wanting it. We knew just how serious when she screamed at us in her drunken blur "You guys don't even know what it is!" Right, which totally disqualifies us from any sort of freebie. Good call on that one.

Ok, seriously people. How many XL t-shirts do you really need? Do you have to have every single coozie ever made? What are you really going to do with it? Frame it? Create some sort of opening day collage? Scrapbook with it perhaps? Is that any reason to turn into some sort of carnivorous crap collector? I realize you think these are priceless artifacts but lets be honest. You'll be using that t-shirt to turtle wax your car in two months.

All I'm saying is risking life or limb for a blowup, noise-making balloon stick, in the end, it's really not worth it.

originally posted April 11, 2006 on myspace.

Spit it out

More often than not, we dont say what we really want to say. How many times have you tried to tell someone something and stopped because you couldn't find the right words? I find people are constantly struggle to find the "right" words, the "perfect" words, the ideal, thought-out way to say EXACTLY what they're thinking.

The right words according to whom? Who is this person, and why do we think they are constantly judging us? I'm not sure, but it seems as though somewhere there's a universal measure of words and thoughts. Anything that even approaches the extreme limits of what is considered ordinary is quickly dismissed as misplaced thoughts and useless ramblings. They are then categorized as no good to anyone.

And the result?

We end up saying nothing at all.

Now, in my opinion saying something, even if it isn't the perfect something, is better than saying nothing. You have far more to lose by keeping your mouth shut. Think of all the unsaid meaning, insights to your emotions and valuable "connecting time" you are missing out on. Why? Because you couldn't think of the right freaking word?

They are just words. And what you have to say is important. (Stop trying to tell yourself it's not. We should be past that already.) So, why ax the first draft before it even has a chance of being heard.

Ahh. The first draft. The initial reaction and feeling. They are words that come from your gut and your heart, unedited by your stupid mind that can suck meaning right out of thought. The first draft of any thought or feeling contains a lot of valuable, rawness that sometimes goes away when you over think what you're trying to say. It is possible to think too much. Coming from a girl who thinks way too much, I would know. The hardest thing to do is be willing to just let it fly, first time, no regrets.

And if they love you, if they care about you at all, they will appreciate what you have to say. They will cherish your insight and more importantly, I bet they'll even "get" what you were trying to say. I shit you not. They'll get it. And if they don't...screw them. At least your tried.