So I'm a writer (note: I didn't say editor. We'll go into the difference later). Words have come pretty easily to me my whole life. I admit that I take it for granted. I do. Lately I have realized it is a gift that not all people have. Granted, I don't ALWAYS know what to say or how to say it but usually, given some thought I can come up with something worthwhile.
Not everyone can do this. Which is why the angry dude on the Today Show this morning pissed me off. Apparently, Hallmark has come out with a new line of cards that address very specific and somewhat tragic situations (i.e. cancer, miscarriages, divorce, etc.). Angry dude got snippy on this poor woman from Hallmark who supported the cards. In her eyes, they gave people, who didn't know what to say, an avenue to express their sympathy and care.
Captain sunshine rallied back saying that if you can't come up with the words yourself, then awkward and broken sentiments are better than a canned card from a stranger.
Now we're not debating whether the cards are appropriate or not. But even as a writer, Hallmark has saved my ass a time or two. We've all experienced how exhausting it is to sit down and stare at a blank card. You feel like you'll be there for days because the right words will never come.
I mean, those card writers are some deep folks. (I've always secretly wanted to be one.) They've got some good, valuable, appropriate and insightful things to say. And sure, they might not be talking about your situation specifically, but their vague sentiments are usually enough to get the juices of our own creativeness flowing.
No one ever questions the president for having a speech writer or a PR twisted celebrity who says the absolutely right thing at the absolutely right time because he's been coached. "Canned" cards are the poor mans version of having a snappy, quirky and/or insanely sentimental writer on retainer. Canned doesn't mean it isn't meaningful. You are taking the time to buy the damn card...aren't you?
I would rather have a lovely "canned" card from Hallmark, than an ill conceived awkward salutation that's going to make both of us (giver and receiver) uncomfortable. (Unless that's your thing. Then I, of course, would applaud the effort.) Not everyone has the words to express what they're thinking or feeling. Sometimes a little bit of professional help at the bargin price of $3.75 is just what the doctor ordered.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
I got nothing
I feel like a ton of things are going on in my life right now. It's overwhelming to keep track of at times so yesterday I started making lists. I think I made 10. I had a list for just about everything a list could and should be made for. I felt better after my giant data dump of information. I felt like all those things I was trying to juggle in my head were out, and I stopped stressing trying to remember them all at once.
I heard some where that Albert Einstein didn't know his home phone number. When someone would ask what his number was, he would tell them to go look in the phone book. That's what a phone book was made for. He said he didn't want to waste valuable space on something so trivial. I guess that whole theory of relativity thing was taking up a little bit of space.
When I sat down to write my next entry I really has nothing to say. And I'm pretty sure it's because all my brain power was being monopolized by things like oil changes, dry cleaning and who I needed to buy a wedding present for next. I realized there were all just things – important things – but not worth the brain power it was taking to remember them. So I put them out of my head and put them on a list.
Hopefully, I've dumped enough meaningless data out of my head to think about something a little more worthwhile. Not that the number of vacation days I have left isn't worthwhile. But I'm positive I can use that space for something more valuable.
Spring is a time to clean out the old. Freshen your life. Dust the cobwebs. Organize and revitalize. Don't forget your brain. It might just need good spring cleaning, too.
I heard some where that Albert Einstein didn't know his home phone number. When someone would ask what his number was, he would tell them to go look in the phone book. That's what a phone book was made for. He said he didn't want to waste valuable space on something so trivial. I guess that whole theory of relativity thing was taking up a little bit of space.
When I sat down to write my next entry I really has nothing to say. And I'm pretty sure it's because all my brain power was being monopolized by things like oil changes, dry cleaning and who I needed to buy a wedding present for next. I realized there were all just things – important things – but not worth the brain power it was taking to remember them. So I put them out of my head and put them on a list.
Hopefully, I've dumped enough meaningless data out of my head to think about something a little more worthwhile. Not that the number of vacation days I have left isn't worthwhile. But I'm positive I can use that space for something more valuable.
Spring is a time to clean out the old. Freshen your life. Dust the cobwebs. Organize and revitalize. Don't forget your brain. It might just need good spring cleaning, too.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Forgive
When we're young, we don't always understand how things work. Correction...we absolutely don't understand how things work. We don't understand anything. About life. About love. About who we are. About what is right. I'm not completely sure many adults fully understand how things work.
But I have found the older I get, the more I learn and the more I understand. The more important the little things become and more irrelevant the big showy things really feel.
That being said, everyone around you is going through the same thing. They understand just as much about themselves and how things work. How their heart works. How the things they say effect you. It isn't until you have even a tiny bit of understanding that you can finally come to terms with the wrong, or rights, that have been done to you by others.
Once you're there, though, a world of possibility opens up. You can stop wondering what was the REAL meaning behind his horrible words. You can stop caring why they acted selfishly. You can stop blaming yourself for the tragic ending who's pain lingers far beyond the actual memory. All of these actions are rooted in forgiveness.
Good thing we're so smart now. Good thing we have so much more knowledge than we did then. Because now we know it all...right?
But I have found the older I get, the more I learn and the more I understand. The more important the little things become and more irrelevant the big showy things really feel.
That being said, everyone around you is going through the same thing. They understand just as much about themselves and how things work. How their heart works. How the things they say effect you. It isn't until you have even a tiny bit of understanding that you can finally come to terms with the wrong, or rights, that have been done to you by others.
Once you're there, though, a world of possibility opens up. You can stop wondering what was the REAL meaning behind his horrible words. You can stop caring why they acted selfishly. You can stop blaming yourself for the tragic ending who's pain lingers far beyond the actual memory. All of these actions are rooted in forgiveness.
Good thing we're so smart now. Good thing we have so much more knowledge than we did then. Because now we know it all...right?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Voices
We all hear voices. Whether we chose to listen to them or not. They're there. Call it your subconscious. Call it intuition. Call it delusion. Whatever you chose to call it, we all have that voice.
Mine is usually the voice of reason desperately trying to guide me in the right decision, down the right path. It's usually wiser and more rationale than I am at the moment. It's also way more realistic than I would ever like to admit.
Of course, we don't ask it for its opinion. Sometimes we don't even want to admit we hear it and all its sensible reason. But we do. The harder you try to turn the volume down, the louder it yells.
Most of the time, its got a point. Its pushing to the forefront all the important things you are overlooking or not thinking about (purposely or not). It wants what's best for you. So why...does it suck to listen to it sometimes?
Because it wants you to be the person you are on the inside. The person it sees everyday. The person we are guilty of sometimes hiding. The person that always makes the right decision, who is good to herself and those around her. The person who never is jealous or frustrated or selfish.
That stupid voice is our reminder we can all be better than we are. It's a voice that believes in us no matter what. It's exhausting in its support.
So I say, stop being so damn stubborn. Listen to the voice. Its got things to say. Notice I didn't say its got nothing but good things to say. I don't always like what my little voice has to say but I admit, most of the time, it's right. And usually the outcome is right too. Blasted little voice. You're always right!
Note: I don't really hear voices, per say. At least not in that "I see dead people" kind of way.
Mine is usually the voice of reason desperately trying to guide me in the right decision, down the right path. It's usually wiser and more rationale than I am at the moment. It's also way more realistic than I would ever like to admit.
Of course, we don't ask it for its opinion. Sometimes we don't even want to admit we hear it and all its sensible reason. But we do. The harder you try to turn the volume down, the louder it yells.
Most of the time, its got a point. Its pushing to the forefront all the important things you are overlooking or not thinking about (purposely or not). It wants what's best for you. So why...does it suck to listen to it sometimes?
Because it wants you to be the person you are on the inside. The person it sees everyday. The person we are guilty of sometimes hiding. The person that always makes the right decision, who is good to herself and those around her. The person who never is jealous or frustrated or selfish.
That stupid voice is our reminder we can all be better than we are. It's a voice that believes in us no matter what. It's exhausting in its support.
So I say, stop being so damn stubborn. Listen to the voice. Its got things to say. Notice I didn't say its got nothing but good things to say. I don't always like what my little voice has to say but I admit, most of the time, it's right. And usually the outcome is right too. Blasted little voice. You're always right!
Note: I don't really hear voices, per say. At least not in that "I see dead people" kind of way.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Comfort
When I was little, I used to push the chairs of the dining room table out and lay underneath the table with all the chairs surrounding me. I say little, but I'm positive there were days I could come home from high school and do the very same thing. I would lay there on the floor, close my eyes and just breath. I have no idea why that was so attractive to me. Usually I would do that when I felt heavy and overwhelmed. It was my way of comforting myself. It was my way of getting back to even.
I thought about this last week, when I was having a heavy week. I guess I thought, at my age I didn't need that kind of comfort. I guess I thought I was tough and could handle whatever the world chucked at me without ever taking a step back. Maybe I forgot how relaxing it was to lay under a table. I was wrong.
Eventually, everyone learns how to comfort themselves. It usually happens when we are very small. We find a way to make ourselves feel comforted and safe. Eventually a crying baby will calm itself down. Eventually a whining puppy will curl up and fall asleep. (Even though I know it makes you feel like a horrible person waiting for them to do it.) Every creature eventually does what it needs to do to find serenity.
Our lives are so busy that we forget we need to take care of ourselves. We need to push the chairs away from the dining room table and escape to our fort for a few minutes. We need to remember to breath. We need to remember to stop. We need to remember that while we're rushing around living, resting is apart of life.
Find a comfortable spot and make it yours. Visit it often. Or, take my advice and crawl under the nearest dining room table. You're just going to have to trust me on this one.
This is Gus. He prefers under the desk.
I thought about this last week, when I was having a heavy week. I guess I thought, at my age I didn't need that kind of comfort. I guess I thought I was tough and could handle whatever the world chucked at me without ever taking a step back. Maybe I forgot how relaxing it was to lay under a table. I was wrong.
Eventually, everyone learns how to comfort themselves. It usually happens when we are very small. We find a way to make ourselves feel comforted and safe. Eventually a crying baby will calm itself down. Eventually a whining puppy will curl up and fall asleep. (Even though I know it makes you feel like a horrible person waiting for them to do it.) Every creature eventually does what it needs to do to find serenity.
Our lives are so busy that we forget we need to take care of ourselves. We need to push the chairs away from the dining room table and escape to our fort for a few minutes. We need to remember to breath. We need to remember to stop. We need to remember that while we're rushing around living, resting is apart of life.
Find a comfortable spot and make it yours. Visit it often. Or, take my advice and crawl under the nearest dining room table. You're just going to have to trust me on this one.
This is Gus. He prefers under the desk.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Damned if you do
You just can't please some people. There are people in this world that no matter what you do, they will poke and prod and tease you. Do too much? You're a overachieving brown-noser who is desperate to impress your boss. Do nothing? You're lazy, and you don't care.
Seriously!
People who constantly pick are just insecure with themselves. It makes them feel better to joke and tease at the expense of others no matter what they do – good or bad.
Sadly, those people are all around us. Either they are unhappy with their own life and this is their way of elevating themselves above those around them, or they think they're funny and they're not. Either way, they are not worth your time.
You can't fix unhappy. You can't make someone realize how unfunny they really are. All you can do is ignore them. Refuse to let their snide remarks bother you and move on. They might feel time well spent involves calling someone out and embarrassing them in front of other people. I just think it's childish.
For the record, I am not in anyway above a gentle tease here and there. There is a time and a place for everything, but some people just don't know when to quit. It's those people I don't have time for. No one should.
Seriously!
People who constantly pick are just insecure with themselves. It makes them feel better to joke and tease at the expense of others no matter what they do – good or bad.
Sadly, those people are all around us. Either they are unhappy with their own life and this is their way of elevating themselves above those around them, or they think they're funny and they're not. Either way, they are not worth your time.
You can't fix unhappy. You can't make someone realize how unfunny they really are. All you can do is ignore them. Refuse to let their snide remarks bother you and move on. They might feel time well spent involves calling someone out and embarrassing them in front of other people. I just think it's childish.
For the record, I am not in anyway above a gentle tease here and there. There is a time and a place for everything, but some people just don't know when to quit. It's those people I don't have time for. No one should.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Musings
If you start thinking about your purpose too much, you start to think, maybe I don't have one. Which is not the case. You just have to figure out what the heck it is.
Sometimes I wonder why I write these things down and post them for the world. My little musings don't really serve a purpose. Or do they? Today I logged on and saw that someone voted and someone commented. And although most people who read my blog don't leave a trace, I like to think that maybe people read it and are touched by it. Or amused by it. Or annoyed by it. But that's something, right?
Maybe that's my purpose – to try to reach out to people. I'm not sure. Maybe our purpose is to keep seeking a purpose. To explore our bodies and minds and souls and figure out what the heck we're good at or bad at.
So when you find those things that you're good at, hold on to them, nurture them and surround yourself with people who support you. And then...keep going. There's always something else to learn and new places to discover it.
Sometimes I wonder why I write these things down and post them for the world. My little musings don't really serve a purpose. Or do they? Today I logged on and saw that someone voted and someone commented. And although most people who read my blog don't leave a trace, I like to think that maybe people read it and are touched by it. Or amused by it. Or annoyed by it. But that's something, right?
Maybe that's my purpose – to try to reach out to people. I'm not sure. Maybe our purpose is to keep seeking a purpose. To explore our bodies and minds and souls and figure out what the heck we're good at or bad at.
So when you find those things that you're good at, hold on to them, nurture them and surround yourself with people who support you. And then...keep going. There's always something else to learn and new places to discover it.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Leave no trace?
It's easy not to matter. To let someone else do the talking. To stand aside. To get out of the way.
It's simple to sit quietly. To not raise your hand. To have no opinion either way.
Why care? That takes work. Why work? That takes thought. Why think? That takes energy.
Why contribute to life at all?
You got something better to do?
Walking through a forest is the only time that is acceptable, neh expected, to leave no trace. Not life. Not your life.
No one will remember your money. But they will remember how you spent it.
No one will remember what kind of house you live in. But they will remember how you lived.
No one will remember the long hours you works. But they will remember you missed their birthday.
Leave a mark on the world. Not by making more money or getting more things, but by living and loving. By raising beautiful good children. By changing the lives of people.
Leave your mark on the world by living in the world. Not living for it.
It's simple to sit quietly. To not raise your hand. To have no opinion either way.
Why care? That takes work. Why work? That takes thought. Why think? That takes energy.
Why contribute to life at all?
You got something better to do?
Walking through a forest is the only time that is acceptable, neh expected, to leave no trace. Not life. Not your life.
No one will remember your money. But they will remember how you spent it.
No one will remember what kind of house you live in. But they will remember how you lived.
No one will remember the long hours you works. But they will remember you missed their birthday.
Leave a mark on the world. Not by making more money or getting more things, but by living and loving. By raising beautiful good children. By changing the lives of people.
Leave your mark on the world by living in the world. Not living for it.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
it'll all be ok
The following is a reassuring message to everyone who is stressing out about anything.
It will be OK.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that it's OK. Life – is OK. Today – is OK. Tomorrow – yep! Tomorrow will be OK, too.
Maybe today wasn't great. But tomorrow always brings new opportunity. And so what if today wasn't perfect. Perfection is boring and annoying. If things were perfect, what would we talk about or stress about? What would keep us up late worrying? What would we strive for?
No matter how bad things may seem, I promise...we will all be OK.
So breathe. Soften all the muscles in your face. (Weird, I know. Who knew you could hold so much tension there!)
And repeat after me...I will be OK!
It will be OK.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that it's OK. Life – is OK. Today – is OK. Tomorrow – yep! Tomorrow will be OK, too.
Maybe today wasn't great. But tomorrow always brings new opportunity. And so what if today wasn't perfect. Perfection is boring and annoying. If things were perfect, what would we talk about or stress about? What would keep us up late worrying? What would we strive for?
No matter how bad things may seem, I promise...we will all be OK.
So breathe. Soften all the muscles in your face. (Weird, I know. Who knew you could hold so much tension there!)
And repeat after me...I will be OK!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
No more
No more posts about disappointing people. I'm not sure where all that came from, but in rereading the last couple post, I vow to not write another one.
It's sort of depressing.
~R
It's sort of depressing.
~R
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