Universe, I hear ya

I'm of the belief, given recent events, that the universe speaks to you. It does. At times, what it's trying to say can be hard to pin point. But I believe it tries to tell us things. Maybe it's trying to say we're not alone. Or that you're making a mistake and it's not too late. Maybe it's trying to say, you'll be o.k. And it speaks in a million different ways to different people. It could be a song playing on a radio, the mention of a name, something someone says, a random weird thing you run across that makes you stop. It could be seeing a cardinal at the park, outside your house and again on your way to work. Today, I feel like all those little things are screaming at me.

I've always been a hyper-observant person. I see things all around me that normal people don't notice. Little things. Like the letters on a license plate or the repetition of numbers on a hotel room door (I always seem to run across the number 351. It's weird.) Maybe I'm looking for connections. Maybe they are a little far fetched. But that doesn't mean they are any less there for me. Do you ever feel like that? Like you are constantly being assaulted with signs, and you have no clue what they mean.

Right now, the world is screaming at me, and I am clueless.

A little help here, Universe. I don't quite speak your language.

Hit the road

It's been awhile since I've really felt like I've had something worth writing about. Interesting that it usually takes something tragic or overwhelming to make me want to write. I have to be busting with emotion, good or bad, to really have the desire to put something down on paper or screen. Ah, the tumultuous life of a writer.

Can you imagine if the only time it was possible to write something worthwhile is if your life was in turmoil? There had to be this constant push and pull from within to drive you to write something. I would hate to believe that my life could ever be in so much upheaval. Maybe it is, and I just can't see it.

Right now I'm at a crossroads. I'm at a point in my life where things are about to change. Stepping forward is just a scary as standing still. Thinking nothing is almost as overwhelming as letting every thought in at once. Nothing is just as big of an obstacle as everything.

Which brings me to the present and my road.

The greatest disappointment in life would be to shy away from the things that make you most scared. To assume that nothing is worth the greatest risk. To stop believing in what your heart is trying to tell you. The greatest disappointment in life would be to hold steadfast on a path because it's easy. To avoid stretching yourself, convincing yourself that what lies ahead is not worth the leap of faith. Not only would that be the greatest disappointment, it might also be my greatest failure.

Then why is it still so hard to walk forward?